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Comic 1 - Fantomah Rising Cover

14th Jun 2016, 8:05 PM
Fantomah Rising Cover
Average Rating: 0 (0 votes)
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Author Notes:

Lee Lines 10th Jul 2016, 4:23 PM edit delete
Lee Lines
This is the origin of Fantomah, Mystery Woman of the Jungle, who first appeared in Jungle Comics #2 Feb. 1940. She was the first superherine, predating Wonder Woman by over a year.Telling the origin of a character with so many powers is a bit tricky, so bear with me!
Lee Lines 5th Oct 2016, 12:46 AM edit delete
Lee Lines
Critique from Lt. Locust.

I can throw in my two cents! Starting with your comic profile. Here's the description that you give:

A long belated origin story for Fantomah, Mystery Woman of the Jungle.


I think you should re-word that. Profiles are one of the first things people might see about your comic, so here's your chance to hook them! "Mystery Woman of the Jungle" sounds a little...blah. It sounds very generic, and your description sounds like an afterthought, especially with "belated" thrown in.

Your website is also fairly generic, so it might be nice to fiddle with the HTML to make a unique design to suit your comic. I notice you have other comics, so you could always add links to your other comics so people can easily click, instead of having to backpedal to your profile before accessing them.

You only have 16 pages, so I was going to comment individually. Keep in mind I'm quite the amateur and not an expert by any means, and these are just my opinions to take or leave as you please. My style is a little nitpicky, I think, but please don't get discouraged. :)

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Comments:

Turb0laz3r 1st Feb 2017, 2:17 AM edit delete reply
Turb0laz3r
I love Fantomah!It was so crazy. It's one of the classics, and I can't wait to see where you go with this.